Lifes Challenges

I have always been brought up that God wont give you any more then what you can handle. Here lately though, I am beginning to think that he thinks my plate is a serving platter when its actually a saucer.............
I could say that my past two years have been a roller coaster ride, with its ups and downs, but with more ups then downs..... until here lately. Lately there are more downs then ups.
In Sept. of '07 Shawn and I received a wonderful gift from God, are perfectly healthy little Bryanna. Then in November, we got married, it wasn't the wedding of our dreams, but it will work until we have the one we really want. This is made us happy, we were a family, tied together by our vows to God.
Feb. of '08 brought the news that we were to have another baby. Allen came in Oct of '08 which was another wonderful gift.
November came, we celebrated our one year anniversary together. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving, full of love and laughter, and celebrating Dads birthday. Then two days later we were drop kicked with the loss of Austin.
Austin is more then a nephew to me, I have always been close to him, and he always seemed more like my little brother then my nephew.... Which I guess is why I always called him "Bub" and have never been able to call any of the others that.
When Austin died, we never really had a reason. He was a young man with the world in the palm of his hands. Even though I know hes in a better place, it took me along time to not blame God. There are still days that I start to think if God is so great then why. But I try to quickly push it away and remember that no matter how much it hurts, he is in a better place, I never have to worry about him, and I will see him again one day.
My roller coaster seemed like it was just on a down hill coast and then in a low valley for the longest time, waiting for a reason for Austins death. Then even when we got one, it wasn't good enough and it still left me with God said it was time. I have no idea how Heather, Tim and Noah deal with this, or even how my mom has.....
Then as if we all haven't been through enough, Pappa died on Monday night. We were all expecting it, and he really was suffering, but its still hard. And I worked Tuesday ( which is when I found out), so I was crying at work.
Some older woman had the indecency to tell me they come in threes. Yes i know this but right after i had found out was not a good time to tell me. I threw her money in the drive thru drawer and told her to have a nice day because i knew i wouldn't and walked away from the window.
I know that I probably take all this a little to hard, and that i have dealt with it in ways that i shouldn't have, but i am working on it.