Life

I have had alot on my mind lately, and i just dont understand some people. I dont understand how one of my sisters can pracitcally just give up her kids while she watches my other sister deal with the unstoppable loss of her son. It just doesnt seem fair to me.
She sets there and tells our mom on the phone, from jail, that shes sorry, she'll never do it again, shes learned her lesson.... and i just dont think i can believe her or trust her...... and i dont know how to feel towards her.
I dont by any means feel sorry for her, she brought this on herself.... she really is such a smart person, yet she makes some stupid, idiotic decisions..... I dont want to be mad at her, because she is my sister, but i look at her kids, knowing how much they have been through already, then i look at my mom and dad, my other sister - brother in law - and nephew and then even at my family.... at we have ALL been through so much lately...... how could SHE do this to us.... and yet act like were just suppose to go on and forgive her for all her problems.... I just dont understand it.
Mothers Day was horrible, i had to watch my mom who even though tried to be in good spirits you could tell it was still on her mind that her daughters in jail. My neices and my nephew who had to deal with not seeing their mom on mothers day.... and then poor Heather who has to deal with her first mothers day without the child that gave her her first mothers day.... just none of it seemed fair at all...
I old my nieces at night while they cry, while their mad, while they just dont know what to say, do, or feel.... and i dont know what to say, do, or feel, other than what i have been doing......

I just wish that she could really see what shes done, whats shes doing to us all..... and hope that she grows up, becomes a real mom, and gets her life together.....